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9: Lance Stephenson scored 106 points this season.  LeBron James scored 107 points in the 2011 Finals, and all he’s heard about since is how terribly he played.

8: Lance Stephenson is a 36% shooter.  LeBron James is also a 36% shooter… from beyond the three-point line.

7: LeBron may not be the “Chosen One,” but I think it’s fair to say Lance Stephenson wasn’t “Born Ready.”

6: LeBron James has his own Nike sneakers.  Both of Lance Stephenson’s children asked for a pair last Christmas.

5: Lance Stephenson hasn’t been in position to choke since college.  LeBron skipped college, and there isn’t an NBA franchise that wouldn’t pay him $20 million to come choke in their uniform.

4: LeBron James won MVP of the McDonald’s All American game.  Lance Stephenson, according to DraftExpress.com, put on the following display: “bad shots, selfish play, terrible body language, cheap shots to the opposition, plenty of turnovers, predictably followed by him visibly blaming others for his own mistakes.”

3: LeBron James has an Olympic Gold Medal.  Lance Stephenson was cut from the under-18 team.

2: Some folks will tell you that the money doesn’t make the man.  I suppose there’s a lot of truth to that.  However, let’s take two men with the same occupation, and say that one earns 20 times as much as the other.  In this case, money is probably a good measuring stick to determine which man is better at his job, at least.

1: Someone else heckled LeBron one time.  He responded by scoring 24 points in a quarter.  Although he didn’t have an answer in game three, I wouldn’t be surprised if he came up with one in game four.  Mr. Born Ready better hope LeBron doesn’t hang a triple-double on his Pacers and throw him a little shout out in the postgame presser.  That just might be enough to get a non-guaranteed deal terminated by the Executive of the Year, who is known to value character.

Woops.

With Thursday night’s 17-point victory, San Antonio matched Oklahoma City at 6-0 in the playoffs.  Although it would be fair to say the Thunder have faced stiffer competition, it would be equally fair to say that there’s no team nearly as hot as Gregg Popovich’s band of forgotten veterans, who were supposed to be too old for this about two or three years ago.  Turns out Tim Duncan is feeling mighty spry (“better than [he's felt] in the last four or five years,” as a matter of fact), and Tony Parker is playing the best basketball of his life, which makes sense seeing as he just turned 30 years old (yesterday was his birthday).  Additionally, the dead weight that was Richard Jefferson has been sent to Golden State and Boris Diaw has been unable to locate a Burger King in San Antonio.

Yep, Diaw and the Spurs are in good shape, both literally and figuratively.  To emphasize just how well they’ve been playing, here are some assorted stats and observations.

• They’re on a 16-game winning streak over a month old.  Tony Paker, Tim Duncan, and Manu Ginboli have taken a combined eight games off over the course of the streak, simply to rest.
• They’ve topped 100 points in 15 of their last 16 games.  Impressive offense, but get this: in 12 of those 15 games they were also able to hold their opponent under 100, leading to an average margin of +17.06 (!!!).
• Not only are they 6-0 in the playoffs thus far, but they’ve trailed the Jazz and Clippers for a grand total of just 17 minutes and 36 seconds.
• Tim Duncan has raised his scoring by 4 PPG from last year’s playoffs, yet he’s playing 4 fewer MPG.  On a per 36 minute basis Duncan is nearly matching his ’07 output (within 2 PPG).  That’s on three fewer shots per game through a series against Utah’s formidable front line.
• As Richard Jefferson clunked his way to 39 points on 31 shots (38.7%), Danny Green played seven total minutes in the ’11 playoffs.  In these playoffs Green has averaged 10 points per game on 12-28 from three (43%).  Kawhi Leonard is also out-shooting Jefferson at 47% from three and 49% overall.  Stephen Jackson hasn’t played a whole lot, but even he’s been able to knock down 9 of his 18 three-point attempts.  All three of Green, Leonard, and Jackson defend better than RJ, too.  Can you say addition by subtraction?
• For the playoffs, the Spurs are out-shooting their opponents by an average of 6.5%.  That more than doubles the next best mark of +3% (Oklahoma City).  Take it beyond the three-point line, where San Antonio is shooting 7.6% better than their opponents, and things become even more unfair.
• The bench is scoring 42 points per game.  The bench only scored 30 points per game in ’07.

I’m sure the Spurs wouldn’t want me counting up their chickens before they’ve hatched, but I think it’s pretty safe to say that they’ll be one of our Western Conference finalists.  The Thunder, up two games to none on the Lakers, figure to be our other Western Conference finalist.  With the Heat suffering through injuries and the possible effects of their game-three meltdown, the East isn’t looking all that threatening.

So, raise your hand if you had the Spurs winning the 2012 NBA title in December.  Now raise your hand if you have them winning it today.  Finally, raise your hand if you feel like you’ve been here before, probably multiple times.

One would think we’d learn, but we never do.

Thunder 77, Lakers 75: Things the Lakers threw away in the last two minutes: the ball (twice), the game, and their season.  Now down 0-2 in a series that should be 1-1, Los Angeles has failed to capitalize in a game they really needed to win.  I’m not saying the Lakers are incapable of coming back from an 0-2 deficit—you know what they say: a series doesn’t begin until the road team wins—but I’m saying the Lakers can’t advance to the Conference Finals if they’re unable to capitalize on Oklahoma City’s “jump-shooting team” nights.  Yesterday evening the Thunder scored just 77 points.  They shot 42% from the floor, turned the ball over 13 times (to just 15 assists), and got dominated in the paint.  Russell Westbrook, who destroyed the Lakers in game one, went 5-17.  The pace of the game was that of a snail, and although the Lakers shot even worse than the Thunder did (38.5%), they succeeded in establishing their style of basketball.  As evidenced by game one, the Lakers won’t be able to impose their slow-it-down tempo night in and night out.  With yesterday’s collapse they’ve failed to win a game in which they were actually able to do so, and they suddenly face a daunting task—to win four of the next five games.  I’m pretty confident that it’s not gonna happen.

I was surprised to see the Lakers, who normally execute with intelligence and precision late in close games, make consecutive passes that didn’t really make any sense.  Kobe’s pass was simply too risky to be made in that situation.  The angle forced him to try to lob it over the long arms of Kevin Durant as Pau Gasol worked to hold his position between Serge Ibaka and a cheating Russell Westbrook.  I’m sure the play had the ball going to Gasol, but I think Kobe would’ve been wise to fake the pass to Gasol before swinging it to an unguarded Andrew Bynum, or even Steve Blake in the corner.  There wasn’t enough space to make the pass to Pau in that situation.  As for Blake’s pass, that looked like a bit of a “hot potato” play.  I mean, he dribbled across half court, maneuvered towards Kobe, and immediately threw a five-foot pass without surveying the situation.  Blake should’ve gone away from Kobe, forcing Westbrook to follow, and thrown the bounce pass.  He appeared to have little interest in handling the ball, though, and a risky pass was the result of his haste.

James Harden scored just 13 points on 3-8, but he came up huge during those final two minutes.  He got the ball to the front of the rim, where he finished on two critical occasions.  On the defensive end, he blocked Kobe’s turn-around jumper to set up his own layup, and   he also made a great closeout on Bryant’s missed three.  Basically, Harden set the table for Durant’s game-winning bucket.

On the go-ahead possession, Durant and the Thunder were wise to utilize the same pick and roll the Lakers have struggled to stop throughout the series.  The slow-footed Andrew Bynum was unable to block Durant’s path to the basket, and Durant was tall enough to finish over Pau Gasol.  Tough shot, but the defense could’ve been better.  Ron Artest probably should’ve gone under the pick seeing as the action was initiated about five feet beyond the three-point arc.

The Thunder did catch a huge break on the final Laker possession.  Russell Westbrook made a horrible decision as he completely turned his head and body away from his man, Steve Blake, who was able to take three steps to his left for a wide-open corner three.  Blake recently netted a similar shot to ice a Laker victory over the Nuggets, and OKC is very fortunate that this thing didn’t end in disaster.

Hilarious moment in irony:

The Lakers would’ve been better off had Artest remained on suspension for this one, as he went 2-10 with a pair of turnovers.  I suppose the basketball gods felt that seven games weren’t enough.

Larry Bird’s hall-of-fame career with the Boston Celtics began in the ’79/80 NBA season, when he was voted Rookie of the Year.  It would be fair to say the award set the tone for the next 13 seasons, as Larry won just about every honor available to an individual.  By the time his playing days came to an end, Larry Legend had racked up three league MVPs, two Finals MVPs, and one All-Star MVP.  Throw in 9 first team All-NBA selections, 3 titles, and 12 All-Star appearances and you’ve got one of the most celebrated careers in league history.

Larry’s prominence in the world of NBA basketball didn’t stop when he hung up his high tops, either.  In 1998, Bird was anointed Coach of the Year after leading the Pacers to a 58-24 record, a then franchise best.  Now Bird has been named the league’s Executive of the Year for his moves that have helped the team advance to the second round of the playoffs for the first time since 2005.  Via the Indianapolis Star…

Indiana Pacers president of Basketball Operations [Larry Bird] has been chosen [for] the NBA Executive of the Year award, the league announced today.Bird totaled 88 points and received 12 first-place votes from a panel of his fellow team executives throughout the NBA.

He becomes the first person to win Executive of the Year, coach of the year and Most Valuable Player.

The Pacers, who are tied 1-1 with Miami in the Eastern Conference Semifinals, went 42-24 in the regular season and earned the No. 3 seed in the conference.

“This is an honor for the Indiana Pacers, not an award for Larry Bird,” said Bird. “Everyone in this franchise put in a lot of work and showed a lot of patience as we have tried to get this team to a level on and off the court the fans in Indiana can be proud of. You always believe, and hope, the players you get will fit into a plan and I’m very proud of what our guys and our coaches have accomplished so far this year.”

First of all, let’s just take a moment to appreciate Bird’s resume.  As the article above states, Bird has just become the first person ever to win MVP, Coach of the Year, and Executive of the Year.  To say that not all great players make great coaches and/or executives (cough…MJ…cough) would be an understatement, and Larry’s success in all of these roles really speaks volumes about his basketball brilliance.

As for his most recent award, Executive of the Year, I wouldn’t argue that there’s anyone more deserving.  The signing of David West to a two-year deal was an excellent move as it brought in a coveted player on a favorable contract.  The deadline-day trade that landed Leandro Barbosa was another good move, and although Kawhi Leonard has shown a great deal of promise in San Antonio, George Hill has played a significant role for the Pacers this season.  Just yesterday he scored 10 points in the first half to keep Indiana afloat as they struggled mightily to manufacture buckets.

Congratulations to Larry Bird, whose trophy case is probably larger than my house.

The NBA’s “BIG” campaign hasn’t been my favorite series of promos the league has ever produced (some of the text, in my opinion, has been a bit corny), but amongst Doritos Locos Tacos, Mr. Sandman, and Stan, I’m just happy to see a commercial that isn’t completely unbearable. So, when TNT went to break and I heard the melody of Mobb Deep’s Shook Ones being pumped out of my TV’s speakers, man, what a refreshing sound it was! A surprising one, too. Although I’ll always associate the NBA with classic ’90s gangster rap, I don’t think the league itself is trying too hard to make any connections.

Maybe times are beginning to change. I sometimes wonder if I’ll ever turn on the radio to find a classic rap station, or if I’ll come across an infomercial selling a compilation of old-school hip hop. As today’s 20-somethings become tomorrow’s 30-somethings, and the 30-somethings become the 40-somethings, I’ve always assumed that the songs I consider classic will become more widely accepted in that regard. I’ve also figured, though, that all the cursing will remain a barrier. I mean, my dad had me listening to his “classics” since the day I was born. As much as I love Illmatic… I’m not sure I want my five-year-old absorbing it.

The NBA obviously elected to go the safe route here by using an instrumental. The commercial is still awesome, but imagine how great it would be if the words on the screen matched up with the lyrics of the song? I got you stuck off the realness, we be the infamous, you heard of us, official Queensbridge Lone Star murderers…

Yup, that would be epic. It would work with the Spurs, too. Tim Duncan and company got the whole league stuck off the realness, and coach Pop’s mob comes equipped for warfare.

Beware.

Sixers 82, Celtics 81: “It’s 100% clear to me that the Celtics have zero respect for the 76ers.”

That was Charles Barkley, of course, speaking during halftime.  I thought he was dead on.  At that point, the Celtics led by two… but with just 38 points on the board.  Philadelphia’s offensive woes probably had as much to do with their own ineptitude as they did with Boston’s defense, and Ryan Hollins had been responsible for 6 of Boston’s 13 second-quarter points.  Meanwhile, Kevin Garnett was yet to take his fourth shot and Rajon Rondo was walking his way through one of those games.

We probably should’ve seen it coming.  Remember Rondo’s little chat with David Aldridge after the rather-unimpressive victory in game one?  I considered making a negative post about it, but everyone seemed to love it, so I let it go.  However, now that Rondo and his Celtics have given away a game on their home floor… I think I’ll go ahead and relay my opinion: the conversation oozed more arrogance than it did confidence.  At least that’s how I received it.

The Celtics did show up to play eventually–at about the start of the fourth quarter, I’d say–but they already trailed by eight at that point.  Behind some timely three-point shooting from Mickael Pietrus, they did manage to come all the way back to tie the game at 65 (yes, 65-65 was the mid-fourth-quarter score), but Philadelphia was able to stay up by a bucket or two for the majority of the stretch run.  The Celtics actually put up 32 in the fourth (5 threes), and their defensive effort was there.  They paid the price for their questionable first-half play, though, as Lavoy Allen knocked in a banker at the shot-clock buzzer, Jrue Holiday stuck a three-pointer, and Evan Turner connected on a driving, falling, scoop shot with the wrong hand.  Those scores, along with a couple easier shots/made free throws, put the Sixers up three with just 10 seconds left.  The shocking conclusion:

While I can understand a Celtics fan’s frustration over the timing of such a call, as an advocate of officiating equality who has been dying to see KG get whistled for a moving screen since 1995… I felt like justice had just been served.

I’m not trying to take anything away from the Sixers with all this talk about the Celtics… I just feel that Boston is the superior team, and that they could’ve very easily put themselves in a better position to win this home game had they simply played with a little bit more passion from the get go.  In the end, though, Philly made the shots to win it (perfect 5-5 on their last 5 FG attempts) against a great defensive team that had begun to bring it.  It would be unfair not to credit them for doing so.  Jrue Holiday played an excellent game as he went 4-6 from downtown to score a game high of 18 points.  Rajon Rondo missed 8 of 12 shots, Paul Pierce scored just 7 on 9 attempts, and Brandon Bass finished 5-15.

*Wondering why I didn’t do a “starting lineup?” Well, let’s just put it this way: in the evening’s other game, Nazr Mohammed gave Oklahoma City a 33-point lead with a 15-foot jumper… with 5:50 to go in the third quarter.  I’m not sure one play has ever summarized a game so effectively.  The Lakers got absolutely trounced by the Thunder, and I don’t think you need my help to understand a 29-point game in which one team shot 53% on their way to 119 points.