On December 4th of last year, I had the following to say about the Air Jordan XX8, the forthcoming signature sneaker from Nike’s Jordan Brand:
Until yesterday, I probably would’ve argued that there is no consensus “ugliest basketball sneaker of all-time.” Then I saw the Air Jordan XX8, which was unveiled at some sort of Monday afternoon convention. As you can see, the Air Jordan XX8 is so unthinkably hideous that the natural subjectiveness of fashion does not even apply to it. It is a scientific, mathematical, indisputable fact that this so-called “shoe” is the most appalling piece of garbage ever to be packaged and marketed as a consumer product. Without a doubt, it is the ugliest basketball sneaker of all-time.
As much as it pains me to admit it, I do believe I owe MJ, Tinker Hatfield, and the rest of the folks at Jordan Brand an apology. The Air Jordan XX8, unbelievably ugly as it is, is NOT the consensus ugliest basketball sneaker of all-time. Somehow, it is rivaled by the Under Armor Micro G Charge BB, which is currently being worn by Sacramento’s James Johnson (and, as far as I can tell, absolutely no one else). Let’s take a closer look:
Apparently Under Armor didn’t get the memo, but snowboard boots are one ridiculous thing Lil Wayne wore that never really became a trend, thank god. Still, the one basketball sneaker brand that I’ve never seen on anyone’s feet at any gym or playground anywhere ever is attempting to capitalize by charging $130 USD for some knockoff Neil Armstrongs while their regular-looking shoes collect dust on clearance racks across America. Awesome idea, Under Armor.
Official –Swag-O-Meter– Rating:
0/5
I’m no marketing guru, but next time Under Armor’s basketball department tries to push the envelope they may want to make sure an NBA player of some consequence is willing to wear the product on the court. Kids aren’t really asking mommy and daddy for a new pair of James Johnsons.
