During the decade that was 2000-2010, the appearance of your average NBA player evolved quite a bit.  Heavy tattoo coverage, cornrows (replaced more recently by dreads), accessories (such as headbands and arm sleeves), and increasingly baggy uniforms skyrocketed in popularity with the new generation of players.  All of a sudden everyone looked like Allen Iverson, both on and of the court.  The suits began to feel that the NBA was amidst an image crisis.  They shook their collective fist at the youngins and instituted a dress code to keep ‘em from lookin’ too hood in the public eye.  They also banned certain on-court fashion statements (upside down headbands, super-long shorts, etc).  Fortunately for David Stern and company, Kanye West came along and unintentionally became the league’s top soldier in the image battle.  The hipster era is upon us; so much so that it’s actually considered cool to look like Steve Urkel.  Just what the NBA wanted!

Despite the fact that lookin’ like a thug was the in thing during the better part of the past decade, most players weren’t really ’bout that life–thankfully.  If the reality of the NBA was how it appeared in the eyes of a 57-year-old businessman of the time… there would have to have been about six felons on every team but Utah.  It seems that generations have always clashed and will continue to clash, but between 2000 and 2010, man, they clashed bad… at least that’s how I see it.  Maybe that’s because those are the years during which I grew up; the years during which I was busy trying to construct my own unbuildable bridge over the gaping canyon of misunderstanding that separated my elders and I.  Or maybe it’s because those 57-year-old businessmen thought every young dude that wore baggy pants carried himself as if he was a member of one of the following teams.

The four most legitimately thugged-out squads of a “thugged-out” era, in order…

Denver Nuggets (c. 2004-2011)

The group better known as the “Thuggets” has got to be the most heavily-tattooed team of all-time.  Despite the fact that ink has no absolute correlation to criminals, these guys obviously pushed a certain image.  Certified on-court goon Kenyon Martin, hip-hop era icon Allen Iverson, and young knucklehead JR Smith play the game like Gs, and although Carmelo Anthony is a known wankster to knowledgeable fans of the game, I think the team’s leader had plenty of onlookers fooled.  So, while the Thuggets may have the least legitimate street cred of any of the four teams I’m listing, they may have been the most thugged-out group of all between the baselines.  As far as your mother was concerned, this was not the team to support.

Certified Goons and/or players with criminal records/street cred:

Kenyon Martin (’04-’11)

Despite the fact that he’s got a clean record, K-mart is a certified goon.  He’s fugazi, Tim Thomas?  I don’t think so.  The dude once threw the meanest in-game punch since Kermit Washington and directed various slurs the way of Mark Cuban.  You don’t f@ck with K-Mart; everyone knows that.

JR Smith (’06-’11)

June 7th, 2007: Smith runs a stop sign resulting in a car accident that killed the passenger in his vehicle.  He pleaded guilty to reckless driving and served 30 days in jail.  JR has had about a half a million speeding tickets and committed a variety of offenses that involve motor vehicles, including operating a scooter without a license.  The only place he should ever be allowed to drive is on an NBA basketball court.

October, 2007: JR is suspended three games for conduct detrimental to the team.  He was charged with assault after an incident at a nightclub where he supposedly shoved a woman, spat on her, and ripped her dress.  According to the police report, Smith was “very drunk” and didn’t remember anything about the incident.  According to Smith, the woman made it up.  According to me?  JR spat and connected… from halfway across the club… on his 17th attempt.

Allen Iverson (’06-’08)

February 14th, 1993: Iverson is involved in an altercation with some other teenagers at a bowling alley.  He was accused of hitting a girl in the head with a chair and ended up serving a few months in prison before his conviction was overturned.  This incident was very controversial because there was a racial aspect to it.  AI and his group of friends were fighting with a group of white teenagers, and the black kid ends up in prison.  I wasn’t there, so I can’t say that he didn’t do it, but as far as I know no one could prove that he did, either.

August, 1997: Iverson pleads no contest to a gun charge in order to get a drug possession charge dropped.  He was put on probation for three years and dealt a few hours of community service.

July, 2002: Iverson is charged with various felonies and misdemeanors after he allegedly threw his wife out of their home, then forced his way into his cousins apartment to try and find her.  He was also caught carrying a handgun that he wasn’t licensed to have.  Some of the charges he faced included aggravated assault, conspiracy, and criminal trespassing.  Lucky for him, all charges were eventually dropped.  He was facing 50 years in prison if he was convicted of all of them.

March 30th, 2011: Iverson is given a ticket after he’s pulled over in his ’09 Lamborghini.  He supposedly directed a variety of four-letter words at the police officer who stopped him, although his friend, who was driving, claimed that it was all fabricated.  Based on my personal experience with traffic stops… who the hell knows what really happened here.

Carmelo Anthony (’03-’11)

October, 2004: Inspectors at the Denver International Airport find some marijuana in Melo’s backpack.  He got off after a friend claimed he left the weed in the backpack after borrowing it a week earlier.  Lolz.

December 16th, 2006: Carmelo picks up a 15-game suspension for throwing one of the weakest punches in the history of the NBA at a defenseless Mardy Collins.  After the punch he proceeded to set a new land speed record while backpedaling from the 5’7 Nate Robinson.

April, 2008: Anthony is arrested on suspicion of drunk driving.  The league suspended him for two games.  I’m going to give him a pass here; the guy had just gone 3-14 for 11 points.  He was clearly feeling depressed.

DerMarr Johnson (’04-’07)

June 10th, 2007: DerMarr gets tased after allegedly failing to cooperate with police officers.  Johnson was arrested due to his involvement in a disturbance outside of–take a wild guess–a nightclub!  He claims that he was trying to break up a fight between a couple of women.  The cops obviously didn’t see it that way.

June, 2008: Johnson is arrested for DUI after being pulled over for speeding and an inability to stay in his lane.  He posted $1,000 bail and claimed he only had “a few cups of wine.”  Seeing as he failed the breathalizer, I’d say his tolerance must’ve been slackin’.

Wilson Chandler (’11)*

May 19th, 2010: Wilson gets pulled over in his S550 and the cops find a joint under the driver’s seat… along with with other small bags of weed.  Will The Thrill admitted that he was getting high before being stopped for driving with his lights off at 11:30 PM.  He was arrested on misdemeanor marijuana charges.

Marcus Camby (’02-’08)

June 14th, 1997: The Camby Man is busted with a little bit of marijuana.  The charges were dropped after he did some community service.

September 19th, 2011: Once again, Marcus is caught with a little weed (less than two ounces).  He was pulled over while driving his Porsche through Pearland, TX.  Unfortunately for him, he happened to be in a “drug-free zone” at the time of the traffic stop.  I’m going to go ahead and assume that he whipped the $2,000 dollars for bail directly out of his pocket.

Chris Andersen (’01-’04, ’08-’11)

January 25th, 2006: The Birdman is banished from the NBA after failing a drug test.  He was found to be using a “drug of abuse.”  We’ve never been informed as to what the drug was, but “drugs of abuse” include cocaine, LSD, heroine, LSD, and methamphetamines.  He filed for reinstatement two years later, and obviously succeeded.

Ruben Patterson (’06)*

Scroll down.  His long list of offenses is included with his primary team.

Washington Wizards Bullets (c. 2003-2010)

The name change seemed really silly back in ’97.  However, no one would’ve questioned the overly-PC decision had they known that Gilbert Arenas and Javaris Crittenton were coming along just a few years down the line.  Can you imagine the feeding frenzy the media would’ve had if Washington’s NBA team was still called the Bullets when Gil and J-Critt had a locker-room standoff?  A gun-related moniker is about the only thing that could’ve made that situation any worse for the franchise.

Speaking of the Arenas/Crittenton scenario, this is what always comes to my mind…

“U..S..S..R……oh shhh……”

That’s J-Critt talking as he watched Arenas remove his arsenal from his locker.  You know Gilbert had the money for some heavy artillery on that massive salary of his.

Certified Goons and/or players with criminal records/street cred:

Gilbert Arenas (’03-’11)

June 2003: Gilbert is arrested for driving without a license and carrying a concealed weapon.  A police officer saw the clip of a gun when Arenas opened his glove compartment to retrieve his paperwork.  Don’t keep your pistol where you keep your paperwork.

December, 2009: Arenas admits to storing firearms in his locker at the Verizon Center.  In January of 2010, he pleaded guilty to the felony charge of carrying an unlicensed firearm.

Javaris Crittenton (08/09)

December, ’09: Like Gilbert Arenas, Crittenton was also busted with firearms in the Verizon Center locker room.  He pleaded guilty to misdemeanor gun charges in January of 2010.

August 26th, 2011: Crittenton is charged with the murder of a 22-year-old Atlanta woman.  He claims to have had no involvement in the incident and is currently out on bail.

Caron Butler (’05-’10)

Butler dealt drugs as a youth in Racine, Wisconsin, and had already been arrested on multiple occasions by his 15th birthday.  He served nine months in prison for possession of cocaine and firearms before the age of 18.**

Andray Blatche (’05-present)

September 25th, 2005: Blatche is shot in a carjacking near his home in Alexandria, VA.  If 50 Cent taught us anything, it’s that getting shot makes you a certified G.

June 4th, 2008: Blatche is charged with sexual solicitation after he allegedly solicited sex from an undercover police officer.  The charges were dropped.

June 4th, 2008: Blatche is arrested for reckless driving while on a suspended license.  He was supposedly doing 86 in a 70 MPH zone.

DeShawn Stevenson (’06-’10)

1999: Stevenson is charged with misdemeanor assault for taking part in a high school fight.  Stevenson claims to have been jumped by five men and pleaded innocent to fighting in a public place.

June, 2001: Stevenson is charged with statutory rape after admitting to having sex with a 14-year-old girl.  He was 20 at the time.  Stevenson was accused of getting the girl drunk off of alcohol that he provided before having sex with her.

August 20th, 2007: A mysterious shooting takes place outside of Stevenson’s home in Orlando.  The story is unclear due to the fact that no one present really cooperated with authorities.

June 14th, 2011: Just days after becoming an NBA champion, Stevenson is arrested for disorderly conduct.  He claims that he wasn’t drunk, as the police say he was, and that he was doing nothing wrong.  He blames racial profiling.  I blame furious anger.

Randy Foye (09/10)

February, 2007: Foye is cited for disorderly conduct for his role in a fight with three other men.  The scuffle took place outside of a gas station.

Anthony Peeler (04/05)*

May 1992: Peeler is arrested in Columbia, MO on suspicion of weapons and kidnapping charges after he threatened a woman using a handgun.  He allegedly bit her multiple times and put a .45 caliber revolver to her head.

June ’92: Peeler is arrested for assaulting a “female companion.”  He was charged with misdemeanor after he punched a 19-year-old girl in the face and threw her on the ground.

Lonny Baxter (’04)*

August 16th, 2006: Baxter is arrested near the White House after firing a handgun into the air.  On August 23rd he was sentenced to 60 days in prison.

August 31, 2007: Baxter is sentenced to another 60 days in prison for attempting to ship two guns in the mail without telling the FedEx guys that his package contained firearms.  Baxter’s excellent decision making always has been cited as one of the primary reasons he was such a success in the NBA.

Indiana Pacers (c. 2002-2007)

The pinstriped half of “Malace at the Palace” featured not only the NBA’s craziest player since Dennis Rodman, but also a gang of goons headlined by Stephen Jackson.  As if they needed anything more than the brawl in Detroit to achieve a thugged-out image, Marquis Daniels became known for sporting a tattoo which depicted a guy blowing his own head off, along with another one that reads “look through the eyes of a killer.”  Young knuckleheads like Shawne Williams and David Harrison were in trouble almost immediately after being drafted, and Jamaal Tinsley’s game brought the streets to the NBA floor from time to time.  To put it all in a nutshell: on the court they were gritty, and off the court they were always in trouble.

Certified Goons and/or players with criminal records/street cred:

Stephen Jackson (’04-’07)

November, 2004: Captain Jack is suspended by the NBA for 30 games for fighting with fans in Detroit.  Plenty of players I’ve listed in this article have rather extensive criminal records, but only Jackson and a few of his teammates actually committed one of their criminal offenses on an NBA floor while on live television.  Stack was put on probation and forced to do a ton of community service.

October, 2006: Following an argument at a nightclub, Jackson is hit by a car.  He then fired his gun into the air five times.  Jamaal Tinsley and Marquis Daniels were also present and armed.  All three players were permitted to be carrying weapons, which leads me to the following question: who the hell gave Stephen Jackson and Marquis Daniels permission to carry a f@cking gun?  Oh yeah, the cops also found a little weed in Jamaal Tinsley’s vehicle.  All of this resulted in Jackson being charged with criminal recklessness, battery, and disorderly conduct.  His biggest mistake?  Going out to a nightclub while already on probation.

During his time with the Warriors (he played in Golden State directly after leaving Indiana), Jackson was suspended for conduct detrimental to the team, fined $25,000 for publicly requesting a trade, and was ejected from a whole bunch of games.  He also got himself a tattoo of two praying hands holding a gun.  Despite his explanation (praying that he’d never have to use a gun again), it was another minor blow to his image.

Jermaine O’Neal (’00-’08)

June, 1997: JO is sent to jail for a night after supposedly mouthing off to a police officer at a mall in South Carolina.  O’Neal claims that he never said anything to the police officer.

November, 2004: Jermaine throws a sliding punch to the face of a fat Pistons fan at the Palace of Auburn Hills.  The NBA suspended him for 25 games (reduced to 15).  He was put on probation and dealt a few community service hours.

October 13th, 2006: A man driving an SUV that belonged to O’Neal is arrested for possession of marijuana.  JO claimed to have no involvement, saying that he gave the vehicle to a friend and simply continued to pay for it.

Ron Artest (’02-’06)

January, 2003: Artest is fined and suspended for destroying a television camera in the tunnel of Madison Square Garden.

May, 2002: Ron Ron is charged with harassment after allegedly grabbing his girlfriend by the arm and around the neck.  An order of protection was filed, but charges were later dropped.  I imagine that any woman who would date Ron Artest has to be at least as crazy as he is.

November, 2004: Artest is benched for two games by Pacers coach Rick Carlisle after asking for a month off due to fatigue… from promoting a rap album.

November, 2004: Artest is suspended for the remainder of the regular season as well as the playoffs for his involvement in the brawl in Detroit.  Like Jackson and O’Neal, Artest was put on probation and forced to do a bunch of community service.  As I’m sure you already know, it was Artest’s hard foul on Ben Wallace that started everything.

March 5th, 2007: Artest is arrested on domestic violence charges after a dispute with his wife.  Supposedly, he shoved her, tried to leave the scene, and then she threw a pot at his Hummer.  The Kings (his team at the time) sent him home for a few days and he was sentenced to 20 days in jail.  The Hummer suffered a shattered windshield.

December, 2009: Artest publicly admits to drinking Hennessy at halftime when he played for the Chicago Bulls.  No one was surprised.

Jamaal Tinsley (’01-’08)

October, 2006: Tinsley is charged with battery and disorderly conduct after the same bar fight during which teammate Stephen Jackson was hit by a car.  He did a little community service and that was that.

October, 2007: Tinsley is shot at in a drive-by shooting after leaving an Indianapolis nightclub in his Rolls Royce.  Being shot at in a drive-by isn’t a crime, obviously, but you’ve got to wonder why exactly he was being targeted.  A definite boost for his street cred.

Marquis Daniels (’06-’09)

October, 2006: That bar fight again.  The one that involved Tinsley and Stack Jack.  Like Tinsley, Daniels was charged with a couple of misdemeanors.  Also like his teammates, he brought a gun to a nightclub.  If I’ve learned anything from the creation of this post it’s that situations involving a gun, an NBA player, and a nightclub will not end well.

February, 2008: A 22-year-old woman claims to have been raped during a party at the home of Marquis Daniels.  Marquis was never a suspect in the case, but this indicates to me that he may have surrounded himself with some rather sketchy individuals.

Shawne Williams (’06-’08)

September, 2007: Williams is pulled over and some weed is found in his car.  Turns out he didn’t even had a drivers license.  He pleaded guilty to driving license-less and was suspended for three games.

February, 2008: A murder suspect is arrested just after he left the home of none other than Shawne Williams.  Williams wasn’t charged with a crime, but you have to wonder if he knew the dude he was housing may have killed someone.

January 15th, 2010: Williams is charged with four counts of possession of a controlled substance with intent to sell and four counts of conspiracy to sell a controlled substance.  The substance turned out to be codeine.  All of those charges are felonies.

July 25th, 2010: Williams and a college teammate are arrested after being pulled over in a routine traffic stop.  The cops found a loaded gun and over 17 grams of weed in the vehicle.  Why was Williams pulled over?  He forgot to fasten his seat belt.

David Harrison (’04-’08)

November, 2004: Harrison is charged with assault and battery for his role in Malice at the Palace.  He was not suspended by the NBA because “the incident occurred as the players were attempting to leave the floor.”  He was put on probation for a year.

January 11, 2008: The NBA suspends Harrison for five games after he violates the anti-drug policy.  Like a few of his teammates, he apparently enjoyed smoking reefer.

March, 2008: Harrison is suspended for one game by the Pacers after failing to leave the court in a… not-swearing manner.  He was sent to the locker room by a Pacers coach after receiving a technical foul, but apparently he continued to scream obscenities at an official and Spurs player Matt Bonner on his way.

Orien Greene (06/07)

March, 2006: Greene is arrested after leading police on a chase through suburban Waltham, MA at speeds of 90 miles per hour.  He was charged with various violations and paid a small fine.  The Celtics, his team at the time, suspended him for a game.

June, 2010: Greene is suspended for two years from some Euro league for trying to pass a drug test by providing someone else’s urine.  He was playing for a team in Amsterdam, so I’m not sure why he was worried about being caught smoking weed.  Don’t they allow it over there?

Portland Trail Jail Blazers (c. 2001-2007)

Ah, yes… the Portland Jail Blazers.  They were a rather unsuspecting bunch… I mean, sh!t, they repped Oregon on the front of their jerseys.  Zach Randolph doesn’t have the appearance of a thug.  The team was only moderately inked.  For the better part of the decade, though, this northwestern squad featured players who were into an extremely vast array of criminal activities ranging from street racing to dog fighting.  These dudes–well, not all of them, but a few of them–weren’t just getting busted for blunt cruisin’; these dudes were into some pretty serious sh!t.  They were called the Jail Blazers for a reason.  The fact that none of them did any extensive time is actually rather remarkable.

Certified Goons and/or players with criminal records/street cred:

Zach Randolph (’01-’07)

Young Z-Bo served 30 days in a juvenile detention center for stealing a pair of pants at age 14.  By 15, he was on house arrest for whipping someone’s ass.  By 17, he was doing another 30 days for selling a stolen firearm.

December 2nd, 2003: Randolph is arrested for DUI.  To his credit, he was supposedly very polite to the arresting officers.

April, 2003: Randolph is suspended for two games and fined $100,000 for punching teammate Ruben Patterson in the face during a Blazers practice.

August, 2004: Randolph is accused of lying to investigators after his brother shot three men outside of…take a wild guess…a nightclub in Indiana.  All charges were dropped after witnesses told police that Randolph attempted to restrain his brother.

June, 2006: Randolph is cited for drag racing at 3:15 AM by Portland police.  Two loaded guns were found in the vehicle, but Randolph didn’t get in any trouble for that because he was permitted to carry them.

April, 2009: Randolph is arrested for DUI… again.  Yawn.

2010: Indianapolis police accuse Randolph of “financing known drug dealers” in the city.  A car registered in his name was found containing marijuana and gun ammunition.  Controlled substances and vehicles with secret compartments were discovered in a storage space rented by Randolph.  Around the same time, a member of his entourage was accused of beating a man at a strip club.

August, 2011: Randolph allegedly invites a drug dealer to sell marijuana at a party in his home.  The drug dealer was then beaten up in a dispute over the price of the weed.  According to the dealer, Randolph was not one of the four men who hit him with pool cues.

Qyntel Woods (’02-’05)

January, 2005: Woods pleads guilty to misdemeanor animal abuse.  He was hosting dogfights at his home, and multiple pitbulls were confiscated by the police.  The Blazers waived him after this incident (because he sucked at basketball, not because he was a thug).

2006: Woods is accused of assault and harassment by a man who implicated him in the dog fighting crimes.  Zach Randolph was also accused of assault and harassment.

Ruben Patterson (’01-’06)

December, 1996: Patterson is charged with aggravated burglary after he broke through the door at an ex-girlfriends apartment and stole her purse.

December, 1997: Patterson is suspended for 14 games by the NCAA for receiving extra benefits in violation of NCAA rules.  Patterson was using a condo owned by his summertime employer, who also co-signed a car loan for him.

September, 2000: Patterson is accused of attempting to rape his family’s nanny.  He was sentenced to 15 days in prison, ordered to pay the nanny $500, and forced to pay a $5,000 fine.  Patterson argued that the sex was consensual, but admitted to cheating on his wife.

February, 2001: Patterson is suspended three games due to his conviction on an assault charge which he caught by breaking a man’s jaw.  Patterson thought the man had scratched his vehicle–a perfectly valid reason to break a man’s jaw.

November, 2002: Patterson is arrested on felony domestic assault charges pressed by his now ex-wife.  She dropped the charges, but they got divorced.

November 21st, 2005: Patterson is placed on the inactive list after cursing at coach Nate McMillan during a loss to the Knicks.  He was angry because he played just 12 minutes in the game.  Gee, Ruben, maybe that’s because you went 0-4 from the field while collecting three fouls and a pair of turnovers.

May 15th, 2007: Patterson is accused of failing to register as a sex offender after moving into a new house in Cincinnati.  He was fined $1,000.

November, 2009: Patterson is charged with with tampering with evidence and resisting arrest after being present at a shooting which took place at the Buckeye Hall Of Fame Cafe.

March 27th, 2010: Patterson is arrested and charged with DUI.  He was ordered to pay a $500 fine.

Darius Miles (’04-’06)

January, 2005: D-Miles is suspended for two games after verbally exploding on coach Mo Cheeks.  According to various reports, Miles used a racial slur to describe his coach.  Gee, I wonder what he said?

July, 2008: At some point around this time it was revealed that Miles had failed a drug test.  He was attempting to make a comeback to the NBA after the Blazers had been given permission to waive him (a doctor deemed the major knee injury he suffered during the ’05/06 season to be career-ending).  He was signed by the Grizzlies later in 2008 and served a 10-game suspension.

May 15th, 2009: Darius is stopped for a traffic violation.  The officer finds weed and Miles is charged with possession.  According to reports, he was driving a ’90-something Chevy Impala, not this contraption.

August 4th, 2011: Darius is arrested after an X-Ray machine reveals a gun that was either packed inside of his luggage or actually on him (I can’t figure out exactly how it went down).  I can tell you that the weapon was reportedly loaded, and that he was trying to sneak it onto a freaking airplane.  C’mon son.

Rasheed Wallace (’96-’04)

April, 1996: ‘Sheed is arrested and charged with assault after getting a little too rough with his baby mama.  The dispute reportedly took place after Rasheed tried to take their young son to Washington with him.

November, 2002: ‘Sheed and Damon get pulled over for speeding, get busted for pot possession.  You’ve all heard this story.

September, 2003: Rasheed is caught driving without insurance after being pulled over for driving erratically.  He got a ticket and his car was towed away.

2001: Rasheed sets an NBA record by racking up 41 technical fouls in a single season.  I’m not even going to begin to get into his on-court drama… I’d never finish researching.

Damon Stoudemire (’98-’05)

February 23, 2002: The burglar alarm at Mighty Mouse’s house goes off and police respond.  They find the door open and call for backup.  A couple of policemen went inside and found no sign of a break in.  However, they did find a pound of weed.  Damon was charged with felony possession, but nothing came of it due to the fact that the cops discovered the drugs without a search warrant.  Interesting note I found in an article about this ordeal: “The marijuana found at Stoudamire’s home was confiscated but police did not tell Stoudamire about the incident until about two weeks later.”  So… for two weeks, the police left Damon under the impression that someone robbed his stash?  How is that legal?

November, 2002: Damon is busted for possession of marijuana in the same traffic stop I mentioned before (the one with Rasheed Wallace).

July, 2003: Damon attempts to pass through an airport metal detector with 1.5 ounces of weed… which he had wrapped in aluminum foil.  Via SI.com: “After Stoudamire set off the metal detector, he placed the drug and rolling papers into a plastic security bin.”  I’ve come to the conclusion that he was already baked when this incident took place.  It ended up costing him $250,000.

Sebastian Telfair (’04-’06)

February 15th, 2006: A gun is found on the Blazers team plane at Boston’s Logan Airport.  It was packed in Sebastian Telfair’s bag.  He claimed that it belonged to his girlfriend and that he took the wrong bag before heading off to the airport.  That story seemed a little less lame after it was revealed that the gun was in fact registered to his girlfriend.  He was fined by the Blazers.

April 20th, 2007: Sebastian is pulled over for driving his Range Rover about 22 MPH faster than he should’ve been.  Telfair gave the police officer a suspended driver’s license, and then a loaded gun was found under the passenger seat.  He was hit with a felony weapons charge and given tickets for speeding and driving without a valid license.

Bonzi Wells (’98-’03)

September, 2001: Bonzi and teammate Eric Barkley are charged with criminal trespassing after refusing to leave the scene of an altercation.  Guess where the fight took place… you got it, a nightclub!  Both Bonzi and Eric reportedly screamed obscenities at police officers.  You’ll soon learn that Bonzi apparently has an affinity for screaming swear words.

March, 2003: Bonzi is suspended for a game after cussing out coach Mo Cheeks during practice.

November, 2003: Once again, Bonzi is suspended for a profanity-laced explosion directed at Mo Cheeks.  This time he was mad ’cause coach yanked him from a game.

Derek Anderson (’01-’05)

August, 2011: Anderson is accused of financing a cocaine ring by a man charged with murder.  The accuser was attempting to get a reduced sentence by coughing up info to police, so he did have a reason to lie, but I thought I’d mention this anyway.  The murder suspect claims that Anderson was never present at any of the drug deals (which he says were for 2 to 3 kilos at a time, $20,000 per kilo), but he claims, quote, “[Derek]‘s who funnels the money.”  DA was never charged with any crime because the police had no further evidence to prove his involvement.

*denotes a player who was with the team for less than one full season.

**big ups to Caron Butler for turning his life around.  There’s not a speck of dirt on his record from about 17 years of age on up.  He found basketball while in a detention center and used it as a vehicle to a better life.  Good for him.