Three Laker-Related Reasons Why The Heat Will Win Tonight

I’m going to do that thing where I act as if I know so much about the NBA that I can actually predict the future with near pinpoint accuracy.  I’ve seen lots of other well-known sports analysts do it, so it’s got to be the thing to do.  Tonight at approximately 10:30 PM I will either look like the smartest guy on the ‘net or a complete maroon.  I can’t wait to see how it goes down!

#1: Derek Fisher has to guard somebody

And not even ^that will work.  One of Miami’s biggest problems is that they get very little production out of anyone not named LeBron, Dwyane, or Chris.  Fortunately for them, two of their best non-big-three ballers–Mario Chalmers and Mike Bibby (how sad is that… those are arguably their fourth and fifth best players right now)–happen to play the point.  At this stage of his career Derek Fisher can’t guard an orange traffic cone let alone a decent NBA basketball player, so at least one of those guys is in for a solid night.  Mario knocked down three triples and scored 13 points when they met on Christmas day.

#2: Ron Artest can’t handle LeBron James

The King is averaging 30 points per game on 51.7 percent shooting over their last three meetings.  At this point in his career Artest isn’t as mobile as he used to be, and his muscle is ineffective due to LeBron’s size.  Artest will likely become frustrated as he gets torched and try to answer offensively… which usually doesn’t work out well for the Lakers.  Ron is shooting approximately 7.8 times per game this season, but in his last three meetings with LeBron he has taken an average of 10 shots.  The more shots Ron takes the better for Miami, and history tells us that he will fire at least two more than his season average.

#3: Kobe Bryant isnt shooting well

The Lakers have won their last eight games, but Kobe Bryant has had to take an awful lot of shots to score his points.  The Mamba has only had one 50+ percent shooting night since the All-Star break, and he’s needed over 20 shots a night to get to 25 PPG.  I don’t expect to see Kobe put on an efficient performance against Wade and LeBron, but I certainly expect him to take more than his share of shots.  Get this: LA is 12-0 this year when Kobe attempts 15 or fewer shots.  That is partly due to the fact that some of those games were against bad teams, but it also shows that LA is a much better team when the offense is balanced.  I’m thinking Kobe is going to have revenge on his mind tonight due to the Christmas Day beatdown, and I’m predicting that he attempts a takeover.  That doesn’t bode well for his Lakers.

Think I’m crazy right about now?  I don’t blame you.  What I’ve done here is predict a win for a squad that is in the midst of a five-game implosion over a team that was won eight in a row… citing faults with the team that has won eight in a row.  It seems completely ass-backwards.  Maybe it is.  In about four hours this could be looking like the dumbest thing I’ve ever written.  Wait, I’m not supposed to admit that… I was trying to act like a professional.  What I described is exactly what will happen tonight.  How do I know?  I’m on TV in a f@cking suit, I must know what the hell I’m talkin’ about.