Steve Nash Will Not Be A New York Knick, Nor Will He Be A Toronto Raptor. Steve Nash Will Be…

…a Los Angeles Laker.  Didn’t see that one coming, did you?  Yeah, that’s why I’m a tad bit hesitant to get all gassed up every time one of Chris Broussard’s sources phones in his latest fairytale.

Now, though, we’ve got actual news to discuss—Steve Nash will join Kobe Bryant, Andrew Bynum, and Pau Gasol (presumably) in The City of Angels.  It’s a move that saddens me, being that my second-favorite playoff series of all-time took place during the opening round in 2006.  You probably remember it… Nash’s Suns came back from 1-3 to defeat Kobe’s Lakers in a dramatic seven-game series that concluded with Bryant moping on the sideline.  Looking back, Nash to the Lakers is a scenario you could’ve just never foreseen.  I mean, in the heat of various moments which took place during series such as the one I just described (and the Suns and Lakers had their share of these moments)… how could one possibly envision the NBA’s two-time MVP wearing the jersey of the other team?  I suppose the most unsettling thought would’ve been to imagine the dude wearing black and silver… but seeing as he’d already worn the white and blue, purple and gold is a close second.

Anyway, all of that’s nothing but ancient history now.  Kwame Brown is a… Buck?  Boris Diaw is a Spur, Amare Stoudemire is a Knick, Smush Parker is fat, and Tim Thomas is retired.  None of that is nearly as weird as Steve Nash being a Laker, but it is what it is.  Here’s the brief summation of how it came to be.

First, Toronto tossed a big offer onto the table; like $35 million over three years or something like that.  Then the Knicks tried to organize a sign-and-trade in which they’d send the Suns a pile of hot garbage, including Dan Gadzuric, who’s back from China.  Hilariously, this master plan was sabotaged by Toronto offering Landry Fields about $20 million more than he’s worth.  Throughout the process there was also chatter about the Mavs and the Heat, but it really seemed to be a two-horse race.  Then, all of a sudden, the Lakers came out of nowhere and offered what will be a couple of lousy first-round picks.  Where’d they get the money for this?  Well, the trade exception acquired in the Lamar Odom trade, of course.

So, the Knicks and Raptors are out a point guard, and the Lakers are out a couple of picks in the 20s.  New York’s probably still doling out picks they gave up for Eddy Curry, and the Raptors… they’re the Raptors.  Clearly, the Lakers are big-time winners here… but just how good are they?  Better than last year, it would seem… but good enough to win a championship?

I still believe that they need a small forward.  It doesn’t have to be LeBron James, but anyone other than Ron Artest.  Artest’s value lies solely in his reputation, which allows him to foul the living hell out of everyone while officials turn a blind eye.  However, even this significant (and undeserved) advantage fails to compensate for his inability to make a three-point shot.  Well, I suppose it’s not even his inability to make a three-point shot… more like his tendency to take more than his share of them, along with other types of shots that could be kindly described as uncalled for (referring to actual shots of the basketball, not crushing elbows to craniums).

And, even if they were to acquire a capable three, the Lakers would still be reliant on Andrew Bynum to be a force.  Can a championship team rely on Andrew Bynum (I’m aware that it kind of happened in 2010, but sh!t is different these days)?  Even with three hall of famers on the roster, I have my doubts.  I suppose the presence of Nash will help to keep the enigmatic Bynum engaged throughout games, but this dude has serious attitude issues that even spoon feedings from a legendary point guard can’t fix.

Also, Kobe Bryant.  Will he allow Steve Nash to handle the ball enough to be Steve Nash, or will Steve Nash be like Derek Fisher on the world’s most incredible steroids?  It’s also a realistic concern that both of these guys could simply fall off a level or two.  I mean, Kobe’s got more miles on his body than the family station wagon… he’s not going to last forever.  As for Nash, he’s f@cking incredible, but even he’s going to start playing like he’s 40 eventually.

Just remember, folks… this isn’t Steve Nash joining the championship Lakers; this is Steve Nash teaming up with a group that made an awfully-quiet second-round leave after nearly being bounced in their opening series.  Although I can’t come up with a player more suited to bring order to a dysfunctional offense than one Steve Nash, I’m not convinced that this is enough.  LeBron’s got that monkey off his back… Kevin Durant has something to be angry about… the Nets could be in position to combine Deron Williams with Joe Johnson and Dwight Howard… it’s just a competitive field, which makes it a cool time to be a fan—if you can just overlook the fact that Steve Nash will be wearing a yellow shirt for 41 home games.

I’m sorry, but I don’t think I’ll ever like it.