Ah, the NBA draft—a captivating evening indeed, but one which always leaves me feeling out of the loop… probably because I don’t watch college basketball. I should also point out that, being nearly 24 years old, the draft has become a bit of a solemn event. When you’re a kid—no matter if you’re 3’7″ or 7’3″—you are, somehow, making it to the goddamn league. Then, around the time of your high school graduation, some dude a couple of weeks your junior gets selected as a first-round pick, and you suddenly realize that you’re still not even good enough to regularly dominate on the local pickup circuit. Kevin Durant represents this moment for me; he was seven days younger than I was when the Thunder selected him second overall in 2007.
So yeah, the draft tends to render me a tad salty these days, but the initial sting from the shattering of my dreams has definitely worn off over the past five years. I’ve accepted the fact that I’ll have to be happy being a scribe of my times, and since I’ve kind of been slacking off lately, let me share a few of my probably-wrong thoughts on the 2012 NBA draft.
***Since the odds of ending up with a Stromile Swift Hasheem Thabeet are about a hundred times greater than snagging the next Kevin Durant, the Charlotte Bobcats decided they may as well make history with their number-two selection by drafting Michael Kidd-Gilchrist out of Kentucky, making KU the first school ever to produce the top two picks in one draft. Well, Bobcats fans… at least he attended the same university as Anthony Davis. And his face will look better on a billboard.
***I can’t believe the Cleveland Cavaliers didn’t take Thomas Robinson at number four. I liked a lot of what I saw from Tristan Thompson in his rookie campaign, and Anderson Varejao is nothing less than a serviceable starter… but that’s no reason not to take a big, athletic power forward with a skill set that certainly seems like it’s going to translate to the next level. Now, I don’t know jack sh!t about Dion Waiters, the guy who Cleveland actually picked, but I’m not sure I need to in order to question this decision. If Thomas Robinson is as NBA-ready as everyone says he is, why not pair him with Kyrie Irving, who looks like he’s All-Star ready? If Robinson could’ve come in and had an ROY-type season alongside a healthy Varejao and an improved Irving, maybe Dan Gilbert’s heartbroken squad sniffs the playoffs. Unless this 6’4″ guard they drafted is a more durable Eric Gordon, I think they done f@cked up.
***Speaking of Thomas Robinson, his hard-working attitude figures to make that of DeMarcus Cousins look awfully childish by comparison. I’m a big fan of this probable development as I currently can’t stand Cousins, that f@cking overgrown toddler (I do realize that he’s still young enough to change, and I also understand how good he can be if he ever does).
***This young Nets fan had no idea who the funny-named Turkish dude his team selected actually was, but he really didn’t give a sh!t. I love it!
***In other things I love, David Stern trolling the crowd. It was f@cking awesome because you know he doesn’t give even an eighth of a sh!t that he gets booed every time he picks up a microphone—the dude is in charge, and he’s also stackin’ chips. So, suck on that, people, and also suck on the fact that LeBron James’ Miami Heat are NBA Champeens (loved that Stern threw that out there every time he said “Miami Heat,” too).
***Where were all the foreigners this year? Not a single international player was selected in the lottery, and only one (excluding those who were born outside of the US but attended an American university) was taken in the entire first round (Evan Fournier, from France, #20, by the Nuggets). With the exception of 2009, it hadn’t been since the Y2K disaster that an entire lottery had passed without the selection of at least one international baller.
***Nice suit, Harrison Barnes. Fire the stylist who dressed you up in a pizza-shop tablecloth, Austin Rivers.
***I’m not going to sit here and pretend to know much about Jared Sullinger’s game or his alleged back problems, but I do recall that he was billed as a top-five pick in the 2011 draft before electing to return to Ohio State for another year of making money for the NCAA. Now that he’s been picked 21st overall by the Boston Celtics, does he regret his decision? I don’t know that either, but what I do know is that this is an interesting pickup for the Celtics, who are entering a new era in which they will aim to blend players that are too old with players that are too young in order to sustain their relevance. Will it work? Well, probably only to an extent… but a talent like Sullinger is a nice piece to add to the puzzle either way.
***What if Andre Drummond isn’t a bust? That would mean the Detroit Pistons will have 22-year-old Greg Monroe (6’11) at the four and the aforementioned 18-year-old Drummond (6’11) at the five. Let us not forget about Brandon Knight, Rodney Stuckey, or Jonas Jerebko, either. Oh, and then there’s Corey Maggette. Surprisingly, this team could be going places (to the free-throw line, at least).
***Shout-out to The Basketball Jones: I’m a huge fan of calling Michael Kidd-Gilchrist “Gillie Da Kid.”
