The Starting Lineup: Super Cool Of You To Beat The Lakers, Michael Beasley

Super cool Lakers game, huh? On a serious note, this game kind of reminded me of their win over the Hornets, except of course they lost.  As they did against the Hornets, the Lakers moved the ball extremely well with Kobe (nine assists) being the primary facilitator.  Like the Hornets, the Suns struggled through some extensive field-goal droughts during which they simply couldn’t buy a bucket.  Meanwhile, the Lakers maintained a comfortable lead, but again, they failed to drop the hammer, thus allowing the Suns to hang around and make a run.  Unlike New Orleans, Phoenix made the big shots at the end.  Wherein lies the difference?  Michael fucking Beasley.

Like I said, Michael fucking Beasley. Michael fucking Beasley scored 10 of his game-high 27 points in the fourth quarter, including a — this really happened — RIGHT-HANDED layup between Ron Artest and Pau Gasol to give the Suns an 88-86 lead with 45 seconds to go.  Being that the Lakers never scored again, I suppose it was a game-winner.  A Michael Beasley game-winner — who’d have thought that would be the score to bring about yet another restart of the Lakers’ season?  Nobody, of course, but it actually historically kind of makes sense.  If you take a look at Beas’ game logs you’ll find that Mike  has always been a Laker killer.  For his career, he averages 16 points per game against them compared to just 14.5 against everybody else.

Also of note: Beasley has posted three 20-point games since January 12th and is dropping 16 and change over his last eight.  Most indicative of his improved play is, shockingly, his field goal percentage — .479 on the month.  Beasley has been so efficient of late that he’s actually on the verge of having more points (439) than shot attempts (440) this season.  For now, though, Michael Beasley is still pulling a Michael Beasley.

Last thing about Michael Beasley: He did all of this with Jordan IVs on his feet and a samurai knot on his head.  Can you say, “SWAG?!” That’s not even to mention those Suns throwback unis, which are hotter than the actual sun itself, or the fact that he was probably high as a kite.

Nikola Pekovic returned to action for the Wolves and looked mighty spry in a six-point loss to the Clippers.  Maybe Minnesota could’ve picked up a W if they’d fed the beast more frequently — despite his borderline dominance (17 points, 12 rebounds), he only took 15 shots, which is like half as many as he’d get if I coached the Love-less Wolves.  Also, Pekovic debuted a new tattoo covering his left forearm.  He’d been concealing it with an arm sleeve prior to his injury, but the training staff apparently forgot the sleeve.  You can’t see it very well here, but it’s a bear.  Because “everybody’s scared of bears.”

DeAndre Jordan scored 16 points in this game, which basically means there’s a highlight reel which calls for your attention.

Actually, Jim Peterson, he said “OH SHIT!”

You can view the rest of his slam-dunking exploits here.  Statistically, this was DJ’s best game in ages — possibly of the entire season.  He’s not a guy whose impact can always be judged by the numbers, of course, but still… it’s encouraging to see.  Speaking of numbers, Blake Griffin: 26 and 13.

For those of you who enjoy a good skirmish, Matt Barnes spontaneously combusted after just six minutes of Greg Stiemsma.  I figure he’ll get a game or two for that, as his actions seem to have been unsolicited.

LeBron James stuffed 24 points, 9 rebounds, and 7 assists down Reggie Evans’ throat as the Heat ripped the Nets 105-85.  James, who is “no different than Andray Blatche or Joe Johnson,” basically equaled their combined stat line of 28/9/6 in about half the minutes on two fewer shots with two less turnovers.  What say you, Reginald?  Dost this not count for reasons only an internet message board troll would cite?  I love ya, Reg, I really do… but you were all sorts of out of line here, and it’s reflected by the final score.

Carmelo Anthony set a Knickerbocker franchise record by scoring 20 points for a 30th time in a row as New York defeated Orlando 113-97.  Whilst the Knicks shot an incredible 14-34 from beyond the arc, Magic members not named JJ Redick went 3-17.  Even considering Redick’s 4-9 they only shot 29%.  Maybe they should’ve resorted to bounce shots.  Jameer Nelson appears to have mastered the tactic…

A technical, Clyde?  He made the fucking shot.  What he should’ve been given is two points.

Three months ago, a bro from Indiana bought two tickets to see the Pistons take on the Pacers.  This bro is not a Pacers fan, nor is he a Pistons fan — he’s a Tayshaun Prince fan, and very possibly the #1 Tayshaun Prince fan.  With perfect seats right next to the entry tunnel, our bro arrived hours early in order to establish his position along the railing and see his hero up close.  As the Pistons appeared from the locker room, however, Prince was nowhere to be found.  Confused, the bro looked around the arena, shrugging anxiously.  Finally, he pulled out his smart phone.  Moments later, he realized what had happened, and called a friend to confirm.  Overcome by epic fail and indescribable disappointment, he peeled off his #22 jersey to reveal a Kentucky t-shirt (Prince’s alma mater) and watched Detroit get creamed 98-79.  No, seriously, this happened.  From guyism.com

Man, I feel for this bro.  Really, I do.  I know what it’s like to be a #1 fan, and I can’t imagine how I’d have felt had Stromile Swift not played in one of the many Grizzlies games I saw in Boston.  That said, this bro does need to step his game up.  A replica jersey?  Nah, son — real stans only rock authentics.

Shout-out to knucklehead turned Pacers shooting guard Lance Stephenson.  Lance has really been ballin’ lately — he had 12 points, 11 boards, and 5 assists in this one, and a season-high 20 points in that sketchy loss to the Nuggets on Monday.

Have the Raptors been shafted AGAIN?! While on first glance it certainly appears that they have, I’m going to say they have not.  It’s hard to tell for sure, but it appears to me that Horford hit the ball before he ever made contact with DeRoZaN’s arms, warranting a non-call.  I highly doubt that the league will be issuing yet another apology to Toronto, and to be honest they kind of deserve some bad basketball karma with that god-awful trade they just made.  In other news, awesome move by Jeff Teague.

Danilo Gallinari had himself a night in Denver, dropping a third of his 30 in the fourth quarter to lead the Nuggets past the Rockets in a 118-110 shootout.  The Rooster nailed four of nine triples, including two back-to-back in the fourth, threw down a monster dunk, and hit a ridiculous circus shot.  Like I said, he had himself a night.

As the Bulls beat the Bucks 104-88, Nate Robinson threw down his first dunk of the season.  Afterwards, he turned to his own bench and taunted his teammates.

Apparently they’d been talking smack, saying he wasn’t going to get any dunks this year. Joakim Noah actually owes Nate money now, according to SportsCenter.

Box Score Observations: 6 AM?  It’s my bedtime.  Knock yourself out.

Highlight Recap, Ricky Rubio Edition: “On the fly, congested passing lanes, three defenders… meh, I’ll just put this one through the wickets!” –Ricky Rubio, translated.

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One Response to The Starting Lineup: Super Cool Of You To Beat The Lakers, Michael Beasley

  1. WilliamBohl says:

    RE: The Tayshaun Prince jersey fella… look at the face of his wife/girlfriend when he tears the jersey off. Absolutely priceless.

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